Two short years ago I was approaching my seventeenth year of corporate America. I worked for Amazon at the time, three years in trying to make my personal goal of five years total (ya’ll, that’s like dog years in that environment!) and travelling extensively. I had spent my first many years in the working world at Pepsi. I knew that if I could make it 5 years with Amazon, once that timeline passed, I was going to take a different direction, potentially out of the corporate world, but I wasn’t sure what it was going to be. Life has a funny way of answering those questions.
Fast forward through a year of tumult; one of these days I’ll go into more detail but suffice it to say my career came to a spectacular close a week shy of reaching my goal – by my standards I had nailed the timing, but the exit strategy was definitely not one I had planned in my wildest imagination. The year leading up to that August exit was one of the most challenging experiences of my adult life. As the year progressed, I became convinced that I needed a break from the corporate grind and needed to go down a path with a little more depth and personal growth. My soul needed to get away from “stuff” and focus on what was truly important. I had loved both careers. I loved my jobs, I loved the career progression, I loved the leadership and influence I had on both internal and external partners, and I loved the challenges. But somewhere along the way I had lost myself. I had missed too many birthdays, worked through too many vacations, and been absent for too much. I had become the job instead of tailoring the job to become me.
As I walked away from Amazon, and even the several months before as I knew that change was eventually coming, the fear of the unknown kept me awake. Night after night, I’d toss and turn and wonder what my next steps should be. Over the past five years I have done a lot of small business coaching and development. The one key question that I ask a struggling business is what is their “why”. What makes them get up every morning and come to work, especially during the hard times? What is their purpose, their mission, what values define them? So…one sleepless night when I was thinking about what was going to come next, I asked myself that.
Having been born into and raised in a Christian home, being a “Christian” was always a part of my world. There were times that I would have said that my faith had been tested and challenged. And yet it was nothing like what I was going through at that point. And I realized then what I had known my whole life but had never truly experienced. Unknown all around, not sure what was coming next, not sure when I’d be able to put this experience behind me, fearful about my personal safety, the list of worries very long; I knew, deep down in my heart, that while it didn’t feel like everything was under control, I could trust that it was. Faith was about choosing to believe in the promises in my Bible, even when the here and now struggled to make them seem real. As Martin Luther King, Jr said, faith is taking that first step, even when you can’t see the whole staircase. In those moments, when I struggled with trust and doubt and fear, I determined that when I got to the other side, I’d be more real with my faith. The Colonel’s Grace had always been “faith-based”, but it was more covert than in your face.
As I thought about my own “why”, I felt a calling that that needed to change. Not because I was an overwhelmingly perfect Christian, I definitely was not; simply because I knew that the God that was bringing me through my fire was able to bring so many other people struggling with that same trust and doubt and fear through their own. He had been faithful, even when I wasn’t. He had proven His love for me, even when I couldn’t feel it at the time. He had guided and directed every step that I had taken, even in the darkest nights when I felt overwhelmed by all of the disorder. His grace WAS sufficient for me, and I was learning to live more freely in the promises that I had read about all my life.
As I began the process of moving The Colonel’s Grace online, I also decided to release our first book in a series of others that I thought about writing for several years. That was the catalyst for launching the blog. And I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt that I would tie faith-based posts into that blog. It didn’t matter if no one read them; my personal evolution over the past year had brought me into a deeper relationship with my Savior than I had had in years. And so, I find myself here, trying to figure out this world of social media, blogging, marketing, and all the other little day to day things that I know nothing about. A world unlike any I’ve known in the past twenty years of the corporate grind. And I find the same few verses that kept me in peace during the past year are continuing to steady my mind as I navigate new waters. I wanted to take a minute and share them.
Nahum 1:7
The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him.
Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.
Isaiah 43:1-3
Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Psalm 139: 7-10
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Acts 27:25
Wherefore sirs, be of good cheer: for I believe God, that it shall be even as it was told me.
As you read through the verses you can see the thought evolution that my journey took me on. A refuge in times of trouble. Knowing, that what I knew I needed to do would bring challenge, but that He would sustain me through those challenges. Going through those six months, in the fire. Struggling but trusting that He who brought me to it would bring me through it. Coming out of the situation, thankful for His grace and mercy; overwhelmed at His faithfulness. Then finally, one of my favorite verses – be of good cheer, for I believe God. It really is as simple as that and for years I had complicated it. He is God. He has it all under control. I just need to remember to trust. Even when I cannot see the end game. Even when I cannot see my way through the darkness.
To anyone navigating deep waters, remember this – He is with you, reaching you wherever you are. As I step into the next unknown, slowly beginning to understand my "why", I hold these verses close, knowing that the journey of faith continues, and He is ever faithful.
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